I watched as your body decayed / I held you as you slipped away / But heaven was built as a garden for two / And someday soon I will be following you
— Delerium (feat. KANGA) - In The Deep
An excerpt from the internal wiki of HeaveNet, a massively multiplayer virtual environment which positions itself as "A Place Where Everyone Is The Better Angel Of Their Nature".
[...] Religions have long grappled with certain difficulties in the temporality and non-transitivity of relationships, and how they relate to the perfection of the human condition promised by the afterlife. How can our every want be satisfied insofar as these desires clash with those of others? How can we know perfect happiness in heaven waiting the long decades to be reunited with our loved ones? What if—heaven forbid—they never arrive?
What if we cannot in fact all be friends?
What if that which can be destroyed by the truth should not be?
These anxieties are replicated throughout space and time—from Gilgamesh to StackExchange—proposed solutions various but empirical data lacking.
What is a question of faith and the eschatology of the soul in the religious sphere is a hard engineering problem here at HeaveNet. Delivering great user stories means dealing with paradoxes hitherto the exclusive province of the Gods. Solving these paradoxes is how we fulfil the vision of heaven as a place online.
By considering users as nodes in a weighted directed graph, our proprietary algorithm achieves efficient network segmentation, localising weak or excessively complex relationships and fortifying them with DaNNNTE (DaNNNTE Neural Network Network Truncation Engine). DaNNNTE uses GPT-5.5 to identify avulsible relationships and provide transparent relationship failover through the RealFriend (previously SUPPLANTR) adaptive large language model (LLM) system. RealFriend metauser inference can freely and automatically add new metausers to HeaveNet to satisfice user desires in instances where members of a user's social network are not members of HeaveNet, have left the platform, or die whilst using the platform, all whilst maintaining best-in-class user acceptability.
DaNNNTE achieves an average Peterson's β disconcertity coefficient of less than 8% on network reconfiguration events, representing the state of the art in social network simplification. Social networks may be recursively optimised, and user satisfaction gains and cloud performance tend to improve as each user's network is further simplified. At present, fully 85% of HeaveNet's users are 'singletons', which means that they are not socially connected to any natural persons, representing an improvement of 45% versus 2023 statistics. A further 9% are 'weak dyads', which means that [...]